Hey Sweetie,




I know that you are wanting an update that includes last weekend's SEC championship game but since it is already Sunday morning and I am in Houston at Billy and Becky's I cannot give you a Teblow by Teblow account and besides, you watched the game anyway sooo, I will give you some random ruminations...





As you saw, Alabama ran over the Boogers to win the SEC Championship Game.  I was glad to see it happen because, not that I am a big fan of the Tide (around the bowl and down the hole, roll tide roll) but I didn't want the Boogers and their obknoxious (spelling purposely incorrect in a backhand slap at the hillbilly moonshiners from Ob-Knoxville...) fans to win again.  Plus if Teblows had a good game he would probably win the Heisman (which they would then re-name the Tum Teblows Award for Best All-around person and Christ-like figure) and that would send me into a vomiting rampage of epic proportions and would, in all likelyhood, kill me or leave me a drooling mass of blubbery flesh incapable of washing myself, toileting or changing the channel off of ESPN when they ran their 148th consecutive day of "Teblows, the man, the legend, the Christ-like figure despite his obvious homosexuality and ongoing unnatural relationship with his coach (and, as it turns out, his illegitimate
  father) Erban "I am a bigger asshole than Steve Spurrier and, thanks to Timmy, I now have a bigger asshole also" Cryer".  Make no mistake I am no fan of Nick Saban or Alabama.  He is a pompous ass himself and I have no doubt that Alabama fans will quickly rise to Booger-like obknoxiousness as soon as they beat the Long and Hornies in Pasadena.  But at least I can support our conference without being subjected to all things Booger and watch the media worship at the altar of Teblows for another month at least...





As a direct result last week's game, Mark Ingram of Alabama won the Heisman (thankfully still with it's original name so far) last night.  I am glad he won it although the voting is and always has been somewhat suspect.  The Heisman voting stupidity first came to my attention back in the 70's when Joe Theisman (previously pronounce "Theeze-man") changed the pronunciation to "Thighs-man" to rhyme with the Trophy for which he was a candidate. This was typical behavior for someone from Noter Dumb as they believe that they are superior to everyone -- as do most Catholics (they are taught this in church, after all, right before they guzzle the kool-aid) and is the reason why everyone else hates them.  It amazes me that some people have not figured out that in order to be beloved, you must be humble, otherwise, you are reviled.  Noter Dumb, the Dallas Cowbabies, both UT's (ET's retarded, yet obknoxious cousins), the hockey team that shall not be named (commie bastards beat the Preds in OT last night!), P-hed and the Dolts, Belidick and the Patsies, and of course, exhibit A, the eaters of nose filter collection and calcified mucus and snot in north central Florido-dah...I rest my case.  (I could have included USC in that list but then, nobody cares about the left coast enough to hate them). I don't blame the players on these teams so much as their fans who, after a taste of success, have become arrogant, obknoxious, bandwagon jumping oners pricks.  My rule is that if you are an alum (not like your uncle DW who went to UT for one quarter and flunked all of his classes except weightlifting) of the school or, in the case of pro sports, if you currently reside in the same city in which the team is located or grew up in that city and the city you currently reside has no competing team, then you are a rightful fan of such team.  Otherwise, shut the fuck up!  But I digress...In 1980, the Heisman voting bullshit was further advanced when the failed to award it
 to the best player that year because he was a freshman and instead gave it to a senior who was so stupid that he kept a mirror in his pocket because he thought it was a picture of him.  I am speaking of course of Herschel who should have won it his freshman year and George Rogers of South Carolina who won it despite having fumbled in the fourth quarter against the Dawgs and costing his team a shot at the National Championship and who couldn't spell "Cat" if you spotted him the "a" and the "t" ("Uh, I would like a "k" please, Pat).  I think that he is in prison now... Herschel won it when he was a junior but that should have been his third award, not his first. There was a brief reprieve of Heisman stupidity in 91 when the UT fans were so obknoxious that the voters snubbed P-hed and gave it to Charles Woodson.  That was funny, I don't care who you are...heh heh, still makes me chuckle...





Speaking of the Heisman (still named so, as I write this), I was talking to my former assistant Summer on FB and she mentioned that, in addition to being a Teblows fan (gag me with a spoon) she always cries watching the Heisman ceremony.  I thought this was singularly weird and told her that at least now she and Teblows have something in common but then I read the facebook entry of a girl I went to high school with (and who's father was a college football coach) and she mentioned that she cries watching it too!  Now these are two intelligent women who are better college football fans than many men and they cry over this trophy that is awarded based on a vote of sports media, most of which couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a flashlight!  Please tell me you don't get emotional over the Heisman and are reduced to tears every year or I will have to look at myself in the mirror and question your upbringing right before I blame your mother.  Do you know anyone that cries watching the Heisman ceremony?  That is today's poll question.

Another interesting Heisman question -- since Teblows won the award and, therefore, gets a vote.  Did he vote for himself either this year or last?  Is he allowed to vote if he is a candidate despite him prissing his way to the award two years ago?  Don't get me started on "oh Teblows is too modest and Christ-like to vote for himself"... I feel a wave of nausea coming on....




I thought of doing a bowl recap but I have to start watching football soon so maybe I will save that for when you get home and start my blog...Your Aunt Becky is my favorite person today because, when she found out that the Titans game (not on until 3 pm) was not being shown here in Houston, she just stepped up and ordered the DirecTV NFL package for today so we could watch the Titans (and every other NFL game).  Now that is a good woman!  Uncle Billy definitely outpunted his coverage when he married her!  BTW, I have decided that the NFL Season Package from DirecTV is the single greatest gift a wife can give a husband.  Tell all of your female friends and also Pamela.

Speaking of the Titans, they lost last week to P-hed and the Dolts, up in Idiot-napolis, breaking their five game winning streak and putting a serious pothole in their road to the playoffs.  (the Dolts are 12-0 and as obknoxious as ever - it will be funny if they lose in the playoffs like NE last year--heh heh, and the football gods chortled).  The Titans played like mere mortals, losing a couple of fumbles, one on the Dolts 2 (Wince Young) and two interceptions.  It is a shame because the Dolts were definitely beatable that day.  The only thing that is a bit regrettable about the Titans' recent resurgence is that the media and many sheep-like fans are starting to heap praise upon Vince like he is the main reason, and not just one of many, that the Titans are winning games again.  We play the Rams today and expect to beat the crap out of them...I preach caution, this is a big trap game...CJ should run wild today as the Rams run defense is sieve-like, anything less than 200 will be disappointing.  I know that you said that anyone who mounts a campaign for MVP should not get the award and I tend to agree (see Theezeman story above) but I have not heard any more MVP talk out of CJ as yet.  I think someone told him to shut up and run (good advice since no one can understand him anyway) and if he gets 2000 yds or, better still, breaks Dickerson's record, then "O-Tay!" the MVP thing will take care of itself...that is what I would have told him anyway, including the O-Tay.  In fact, I would advise him against saying anything to the press other than "O-Tay CJ!" while holding up each hand with his thumb and forefinger together...MVP stands for Most Variable Pronunciation doesn't it?





All right, gotta run and catch the end of the first half of all the games (luv ya Beckster).  Call me when you get off the ship tomorrow and congratulations on completing your voyage of a lifetime...







Love you and miss you,

Dad